Swansong
by Ikari-Tsukasa
Summary: Swansong : " A final performance or accomplishment, especially one before retirement. " A final performance in the rain, ending only in a retirement of death.  Final piece in the AU set in Retribution, etc


"The dead have no regrets once the trigger is pulled."

I look at him with shock most likely evident in my eyes… and his eyes hold something I've never seen in them before… except once not too long ago in my dreams. A hint of calm dread and hungry yearning but for… for what? His own death? He and I… we're so close right now and yet so far away I'm scared that if I try to reach out and grab out to him, my hand will only sail right through his flesh, only materializing once the gunshot rings through the air and the smell of blood rips through my nose I… I don't want that to happen again it's already happened far too many times and I… don't know if I can take it this time because now I know…

…now I know that this time it's actually happening. There won't be waking up to tomorrow to see Silver's sleeping face looking at the wall instead of me, his wife, with arm around his shotgun. There won't be a time when I would be able to sneak out the door and go for a walk through the calm, quiet woods to find him so we can dance together under the still rising sun. There won't be a chance to finally tell the world 'I was wrong' because this time… he'll actually be dead. He won't come back no matter how many times I kiss him.

But maybe I still have a chance.

"Gold… please don't do this to yourself… to me." He looks away and I can see the gun slowly begin to fall from its position next to his head and I can't help but smile and I go to touch his hand and… and he's there, I can feel him and now I know for sure that this is real I can't mess up now we've come so close and… I have to tell him.

"You can't do this because I… I love you. I love you so much and it wasn't supposed to happen like this and I'm so sorry Gold… I'm so sorry. You just… you were always gone, drinking at that damned bar or wherever the hell you go and I got scared and… and Silver was always there, telling me everything was going to be alright and I just… I felt safe when he was around but that isn't love Gold… I love you, please don't do this please….."

And his face softens and the gun is now at his sides and his finger is off the trigger and… and he's kissing me and it feels so nice… so nice. His hands are on my waist and he pulls me close and it just feels so right and it's then obvious to me that I made the wrong choice those few years ago and I feel so absolutely terrible and…

…and the last thing I hear is the sound of a gunshot and Gold screaming my name… and the ground feels so nice and its suddenly too cold to try and stay awake… I think… I'll just let… my eyes close… for a little bit… and then I'll just wake up tomorrow… and find that this whole thing… was just a dream….

-

"Crys, Crystal! No, oh God NOO!" I crumple to my knees, sobs racking my body so hard I feel like I could puke… that is, until, I heard him. That damned sardonic chuckle of his that makes me want to punch him in the face over and over and over again. I stand up quickly, determined not to show him how weak I am and how I've become since he's last seen me. "Why? Why did you do it Silver, I thought you loved her?" The man just looks at me with that smirk of his and my hand reaches for the pocketed handgun and while I pull it out with a shaky hand, Silver just crosses his arms and cocks his head just a little bit.

"Gold, Gold, Gold. Don't you know anything? Love isn't real. I've figured that out a long time ago. If she really had 'loved' you, do you really think she would have married me in the end? But she became weak, gave in to her demented desires… and so I rescued her from them." I can feel my mouth gape open at these words. 'Demented desires?' 'Rescued her?' I couldn't believe it – did Silver really believe all of that crap?

The younger man walked closer to me, and when we were within arms distance he glanced down at Crystal's bleeding form. "It is rather a pity. She was quite beautiful." I try and hold back everything I can from shooting him right here and right now… because after all not only would that be a cowards shot as he had his back turned, his blood would fly onto Crystal's body and he didn't deserve to join her in death in such a way. 

I point the gun at him, press the metal into his damned skull. "Get away from her. Now. You've already done enough." I hear him laugh and it drives me wild. Who the hell does he think he is, anyways? "You think I'm joking, Silver? For once since that day you stole her from me, I'm completely sober… and the rage has completely awoken. If you don't leave her in five seconds I swear to God I'll kill you right now." At this point he stiffens and I can't help but feel a little pride in this. He deserves to be scared of me, damnit. I deserve it… and Crystal did, too.

Finally, he raises his arms high in the sky, palms open, the gun he had earlier nowhere to be found and I can't help but smile to myself. "Alright. You win. You can have her." I lower my gun and allow it to drop to the ground as he disappeared from view and I allow myself to fall to my knees once more.

"We're going to do this right Crys… I promise. E-everything will be okay now. Silver's gone… he won't b-bother you a-anymore…." I could feel the tears threatening to come back, or at least, that's what the hiccups promised… and then I finally heard him again. He hadn't left, he hadn't…!

"Isn't it poetic? Torn apart and broken into a thousand pieces... and _you_ are the ultimate cause of it." And the night was lit up by the sounds of a gunshot for the second time that night... from the same weapon. The bullet pierced through my chest, and I fall with my head resting on my Super Serious Gal's stomach and I can't help but think… that this is what I deserved.

His footsteps come nearer, until I can feel one of his boots digging into my ribs. "Now here's the thing, my dear Gold. I never clocked out so I will never be suspect in this… homicide-suicide. You're lucky it's raining… now it won't take that long for you to finally bleed out." …and then he was gone after wiping his gun of his prints and making sure to not only rub my hand all over the gun, but Crystal's as well to make it seem like we wrestled for it. "A sweet romantic ending for the sweet romantic pair!" 

It was then I swore that if we somehow survived this… he would be the one with a 'sweet romantic ending.'

"I love you…Gold"

"…and I love you, Crys."


End file.
